Right, I want you to list all the things which you know make you feel best about yourself, life, others, God, the day, your future... etc.
Some of mine would be:
Going for walks
Having a mid-afternoon snooze
Praying
Going swimming
Writing
Going to art galleries
Climbing hills
Doing pilates
Each of these things makes me feel a little more peaceful, a bit more centred, and much more myself. They put my life in perspective and bring me down off my pedestal where I am centre of the world. They allow space for God, space for me and space for others.
Now I want you to list how often you actually manage to do one of the things on your list....
If you're anything like me the answer will be "not as often as I should", and then you'll feel a bit guilty and rubbish and wish you'd never started reading this because you were quietly ignoring that nagging feeling that sitting reading things on the internet isn't actually doing you much good and you should be doing something more useful. And then something on the internet has the cheek to actually tell you that it isn't doing you much good.
Well I've decided that I am no longer going to feel guilty about not doing the things which make me feel great but which I don't do that much; because that turns them into work, into duty and into something to avoid at all costs. Isn't it mad that we procrastinate from the things we most love?
If that list becomes things which go into the bracket of studying, revising, working, and cleaning the house, then I won't do them and won't want to. They will be mentally added to the set of things which belong to work if I think about them as things which I should do.
So from now on I shall focus on enjoying them when I do them, looking forward to the next time I get to do them, and planning time for them because I love doing them so much. If I don't get to do them I shall feel sad like if a friend cancelled a date we had. I will aim to do no more feeling guilty if I don't do them, and I won't feel guilty for feeling guilty either (I'm good at that one).
Then, hopefully, those things will become wee dates that I have planned in for me to hang out with me, and I'll be sad if I cancel on me. But I won't be angry with me or resentful, because I wouldn't do that to a friend.
Then, who knows, I might start actually doing the things which make me feel better about myself, life, others, God, my day, my future... etc.
Yours, thinking differently,
Blanched Almonds
